


In Darkened Rooms

by ThereIsNoTragedyInThat



Series: Spirits and Cocaine [16]
Category: Narcos (TV)
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, I just realized literally nothing happens in this fic, Introspection, M/M, One Shot, Period-Typical Homophobia, Realization, Short & Sweet, just skip this one, my bad - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-20
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-17 09:48:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29590947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThereIsNoTragedyInThat/pseuds/ThereIsNoTragedyInThat
Summary: The bar was crowded tonight, bodies pressed close and constantly shoving those around them just to get enough room to breathe.
Relationships: Steve Murphy/Javier Peña
Series: Spirits and Cocaine [16]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2100027
Comments: 8
Kudos: 28





	In Darkened Rooms

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Going on a date (and then I realized they couldn't)

The bar was crowded tonight, bodies pressed close and constantly shoving those around them just to get enough room to breathe. Usually, Steve would hate this, would feel claustrophobic and hot with the sheer number of people brushing past him and the music playing loud and unfamiliar in his ears, nearly deafening. Yet, there was something almost celebratory in the air and between that and his beer, it was almost tolerable.

Still, he would have left an hour ago if it wasn’t for Javier’s warm presence next to him, his wide-open smile and casual touches, if it wasn’t for the way he leaned in close to murmur in his ear with each wild exclamation in too fast, too muddled Spanish, his voice low and soothing as he translated.

It was a sight to behold, watching the way Javier claimed the space around them. They’d managed to snag one of the few tables pushed against the wall to make more room for the dancers and it was obvious from the start that this was Javier’s favorite bar. The patrons all seemed to know him, teased and bantered in broken English, while the waitresses always seemed to have one eye on them, fresh beers being dropped off as soon as he raised his hand.

Steve’s lips twitched into smile when Javier’s hand reached over to curl around the nape of his neck, leaning in close and tilting his head toward the dance floor, “pay attention to the men and the women, you might actually learn something.”

His voice had been pitched high to be heard over the racket and Steve shoved him away laughing, feeling better than he had in a long time. Javier’s eyes were wide and bright with amusement, as he motioned meaningfully again, “I’m serious Murphy, you better be taking notes.”

Javier like to joke that he couldn’t dance, and Steve might be a bit prideful because he could dance, and he could do it well…but it seemed fair to say that by Colombian standards, his skill might be lacking. Already, they had spent countless nights with Javier’s beat-up record player dancing over an eclectic and seemingly random selection of bands and songs while they stumbled their way across the living room and inevitably ending up in each other’s arms.

“You’re such an asshole,” he muttered, sipping his beer and shaking his head.

“I’m just trying to help you, the moves you pull are a disgrace.”

“You would know Peña.”

Javier leaned back in his chair, confident in his abilities and Steve was suddenly hit with the urge to grab his hand, and drag him into that crowd, to disappear among the grinding, eager bodies and put on a show. The strength of it blindsided him, made his hand clench around the neck of his bottle as another, darker realization followed on the heels of the first…he would never be able to do that.

The sharp piercing pain in his chest took his breath away, staring at Javi and feeling something that was just a little too close to grief for comfort. This, them, it was all new to him in a thousand different ways. He’d been with Connie for years, but he still remembered what it was like going out with her, especially in the beginning, the urge to show her off and to be seen and known, to let everybody know he was happy and in love. Some of that, he blamed on their youth, he didn’t need those things to be content, except he was starting to realize how precious those very moments had been.

Being with a man, being with Javier, being in love with him, had to be a secret, was to be kept nestled deep in their chests, safe from those around them and it only made him want to scream it out all the more. The wave of helplessness that washed through him must have been evident in his face because one moment Javier was chuckling and the next his expression grew serious, mirth fleeing from his eyes.

“Steve?”

It was loud enough that he didn’t even hear his name, just read the shape of Javier’s lips, found himself unable to respond, words dying in this throat. He didn’t know how to explain to Javier that he’d only just realized this or that it had only just become real to him, didn’t know how to tell him that he’d never loved someone so fiercely and so quietly.

Javier leaned forward, chair grinding on the floor as he shifted it closer to him, the move practiced and casual as anyone trying to be heard over the chaotic noise of the bar might. Beneath the table, Steve was startled when he felt a foot hooking itself around his ankle, leg tangling with his, a hand reaching out simultaneously to grip his arm, “what’s wrong?”

Shaking his head, Steve tried to smile, knew it didn’t fool Javier in the slightest when he only sighed and moved impossibly closer. His eyes darted around the crowded space but found nobody’s watching them as he felt Javier’s breath ghost across his ear, mustache tickling the sensitive skin as he murmured to him softly, “Do you want to get out of here?”

He did and he didn’t.

If they left right then, it would only lead to them sitting in Javier’s apartment which wasn’t a bad thing, but it was all they’d done together besides work in almost a month and as much as he hated that he needed to police every move he made here…what he wanted more than anything was to see Javier smile again.

It was the little things, and he was going to enjoy every second of them.

“I’m good.”

Javier pulled away, expression doubtful and this time Steve was able to summon a genuine smile, used the cover of the table to grip one of his partner’s hands and squeeze reassuringly. Just like that, Javier relaxed, nodding and putting up his free hand to get them another drink and Steve felt himself ease back in his chair.

There would be time for them later, in the cover of their apartments, to be all the things they were. If that left an ache in his heart…well it would be ignored in favour of the warmth filling every inch of his body as he watched the man he loved smile.


End file.
